let the sunshine in...
--------------------
it's been an absolutely gorgeous weekend...
even got a chance to bust out the shorts on sunday!
met warner's mom and his sister, basically spent the whole weekend with him again... talk about interesting... seems they liked me anyway, albeit the time we spent together was minimal... sometimes, i can't help but think that this is too good to be true... things have been going so well... we're meeting each other's family and spending so much time together... the cynic in me says that it's the recipe for an emotional disaster when it ends... the optimistic side dares to contemplate bigger and better things, the possibilities of which at this point seem to be pretty good... i really don't know what that means in the long run, but it's made me look forward that much more to the summer ahead...
the first year of law school is officially over tomorrow... it might be presumptuous to talk about the successes and accomplishments of the past 8 months before writing the last exam and getting the final grade report, but i really can't wait for tomorrow... this year really has flown by, and i've learned quite a bit, not just in school but about myself and the people around me...
i've made and lost friends, drifted apart from many, and gotten closer with a few... i've figured out a bit better what i want to do with myself after school (but more in the sense that i've figured out better what i don't want to do with myself after school)... i've become more of a pragmatist and a realist and -- gasp! -- a conservative... but i've also had my eyes opened to a whole host of social issues and concerns that i was only vaguely aware of and now feel a compulsion to address in some way... i've had ups, downs, lefts, rights, and full circles and turnarounds, managing to maintain both my sanity and my integrity through it all... i'm not sure about being a "better" person, but i've definitely changed "for the better" because of this experience...
i can't wait for this term to be done... and i can't wait for next year so that i can take a more active role in my academic pursuits... sadly, i can't wait either for job interviews and career planning so i can start "living life" and doing "real work"... as with most things, it's both a matter of altruism and self-interest... or rather, a sense of self-worth... i can't wait to start doing work that "matters" and that affects people and that changes lives and that makes "a difference"... how or whether that will happen remains to be seen, but i'm optimistic at this point...
i've also been thinking a lot about moving out... a lot, a lot... i've come to realize that where i live right now really isn't "home"... i eat and sleep here, but this isn't "my place"... i'm ever grateful for my parents' willingness to give me everything and to provide for my every need, but i really need to bust out and make it "on my own"... or as much on my own as i can muster... i was brought up with and have many friends who have the mentality that moving out only happens when you get married or, at least, are financially secure enough to "make it"...
that would mean that i'd be here for another 2 years... quite frankly, i don't think i can stay sane enough to handle that... i have a good life here with my family, but i can't shake the feeling of being a child when i'm here... and that, more than anything, has me itching to move out... but at the same time, i won't settle for a crappy deal... while i look forward to doing the "mundane" life chores for myself, i also don't want to be living off KD when i don't have to be... i'll take the matter under advisement for now, but the 8-ball says "all signs point to yes"...
tomorrow's gonna be a blistering 26C! let the sunshine in, indeed!
--------------------
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Tomorrow (from Annie)
it's been an absolutely gorgeous weekend...
even got a chance to bust out the shorts on sunday!
met warner's mom and his sister, basically spent the whole weekend with him again... talk about interesting... seems they liked me anyway, albeit the time we spent together was minimal... sometimes, i can't help but think that this is too good to be true... things have been going so well... we're meeting each other's family and spending so much time together... the cynic in me says that it's the recipe for an emotional disaster when it ends... the optimistic side dares to contemplate bigger and better things, the possibilities of which at this point seem to be pretty good... i really don't know what that means in the long run, but it's made me look forward that much more to the summer ahead...
the first year of law school is officially over tomorrow... it might be presumptuous to talk about the successes and accomplishments of the past 8 months before writing the last exam and getting the final grade report, but i really can't wait for tomorrow... this year really has flown by, and i've learned quite a bit, not just in school but about myself and the people around me...
i've made and lost friends, drifted apart from many, and gotten closer with a few... i've figured out a bit better what i want to do with myself after school (but more in the sense that i've figured out better what i don't want to do with myself after school)... i've become more of a pragmatist and a realist and -- gasp! -- a conservative... but i've also had my eyes opened to a whole host of social issues and concerns that i was only vaguely aware of and now feel a compulsion to address in some way... i've had ups, downs, lefts, rights, and full circles and turnarounds, managing to maintain both my sanity and my integrity through it all... i'm not sure about being a "better" person, but i've definitely changed "for the better" because of this experience...
i can't wait for this term to be done... and i can't wait for next year so that i can take a more active role in my academic pursuits... sadly, i can't wait either for job interviews and career planning so i can start "living life" and doing "real work"... as with most things, it's both a matter of altruism and self-interest... or rather, a sense of self-worth... i can't wait to start doing work that "matters" and that affects people and that changes lives and that makes "a difference"... how or whether that will happen remains to be seen, but i'm optimistic at this point...
i've also been thinking a lot about moving out... a lot, a lot... i've come to realize that where i live right now really isn't "home"... i eat and sleep here, but this isn't "my place"... i'm ever grateful for my parents' willingness to give me everything and to provide for my every need, but i really need to bust out and make it "on my own"... or as much on my own as i can muster... i was brought up with and have many friends who have the mentality that moving out only happens when you get married or, at least, are financially secure enough to "make it"...
that would mean that i'd be here for another 2 years... quite frankly, i don't think i can stay sane enough to handle that... i have a good life here with my family, but i can't shake the feeling of being a child when i'm here... and that, more than anything, has me itching to move out... but at the same time, i won't settle for a crappy deal... while i look forward to doing the "mundane" life chores for myself, i also don't want to be living off KD when i don't have to be... i'll take the matter under advisement for now, but the 8-ball says "all signs point to yes"...
tomorrow's gonna be a blistering 26C! let the sunshine in, indeed!
--------------------
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Tomorrow (from Annie)
posted by þΛųL jØŋαŦhΛŋ @ 20:45
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