a generation of narcissists?
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Experts call the Internet the socializing institution of modern society. But in this random world that is shaping the next generation, there are no rules or supervision. Safeguards are being made up on the fly. What will the long-term impact be? Are we creating kids hooked on instant gratification? With no sense of consequence for their actions? Who don't know the difference between what's private and public, and who are forever in search of an audience? Kids who don't take deadlines and commitments seriously because they are in perpetual communication?
Today's teens are perpetually in touch, making plans and breaking them as fast as they can type. They collaborate on schoolwork, research and creative writing in the virtual world, but they also flirt, bully and send each other sexually explicit messages. Sometimes they pose as other people. Many use weblogs, online journals and chatrooms as confessionals for every fleeting thought. Or take on Web personas to explore different identities, and play different roles.
When it comes to instant communications, some experts are concerned at how it may be shaping kids' attitudes. In a recent article in the journal Psychology Today, Bernardo Carducci of Indiana University Southeast suggested reliance on cellphones and text messaging undermines the development of self-regulation and critical thinking because kids are checking in with friends constantly and can do anything spur of the moment. "You get used to things happening right away. You not only want pizza now, you generalize that expectation to other domains, like friendship and intimate relationships. You become frustrated and impatient easily. You become unwilling to work out problems. And so relationships fail — perhaps the single most powerful experience leading to depression."
He refers to cellphones as "the eternal umbilicus" giving teens instant access to parents to bail them out of daily dilemmas or make their decisions. Some fear the culture of blogging and Webcams is creating a generation of narcissists, who think their every thought is worth communicating. "We really are celebrating exhibitionism. Young people didn't start it, but they certainly have caught on to it."
Today's teens are perpetually in touch, making plans and breaking them as fast as they can type. They collaborate on schoolwork, research and creative writing in the virtual world, but they also flirt, bully and send each other sexually explicit messages. Sometimes they pose as other people. Many use weblogs, online journals and chatrooms as confessionals for every fleeting thought. Or take on Web personas to explore different identities, and play different roles.
When it comes to instant communications, some experts are concerned at how it may be shaping kids' attitudes. In a recent article in the journal Psychology Today, Bernardo Carducci of Indiana University Southeast suggested reliance on cellphones and text messaging undermines the development of self-regulation and critical thinking because kids are checking in with friends constantly and can do anything spur of the moment. "You get used to things happening right away. You not only want pizza now, you generalize that expectation to other domains, like friendship and intimate relationships. You become frustrated and impatient easily. You become unwilling to work out problems. And so relationships fail — perhaps the single most powerful experience leading to depression."
He refers to cellphones as "the eternal umbilicus" giving teens instant access to parents to bail them out of daily dilemmas or make their decisions. Some fear the culture of blogging and Webcams is creating a generation of narcissists, who think their every thought is worth communicating. "We really are celebrating exhibitionism. Young people didn't start it, but they certainly have caught on to it."
-- ANDREA GORDON, The Toronto Star (1 April 2005)
--------------------Alex Tanas, 19, is the product of a loving divorce. Although his parents split up, they've maintained a close friendship. What some might see as a broken home, Alex sees as a home full of love. Family is important to him and his future goals. "I've always wanted to fall in love and have kids. I'm kind of getting to the point where I'd like to have a serious relationship." Having seen many in their parents' generation go through divorce — there were more than 70,000 divorces in Canada in 2003 alone — many of today's teens carry few illusions when it comes to long-term relationships.
While some, like Alex, remain hopeful, others are pessimistic about finding a life-long partner. "I see myself with a child but bringing it up by myself," says Jane Montague, 16, whose parents are also divorced. "That's not negative. I imagine a man in the background but don't see myself raising a kid in a dual partnership." Never mind divorce; she doesn't see herself married in the first place.
Zak, 16, (wishing to use his first name only), has a similar view. "I think I'll be a single dad unless I find someone who I can get along with every day," says Zak, whose parents divorced when he was an infant. "Anything's possible, but I don't think people can be constantly happy."
Sixteen-year-old Louisa Worrell isn't optimistic. "Like, at least half of my friends have single parents," she says. "My parents are one of the few parents still together. I want it (what they have) but I have no hope. There are so many marriages where it doesn't work out. It's not like a fairy tale." No unicorns, no dragons, no knights in shining armour.
Alex has similar sentiments. "I don't think there's somebody out there that's a soulmate," he says. "I think you find someone you like, earn their trust...and work toward a good relationship." Life is full of contradictions. Just because teens, like adults, are realistic about achieving perfection doesn't mean they don't strive for it.
"I'm not afraid of commitment," says Kamilla Break, 15. "I just can't believe you'd find someone you're so content with. I always find reasons not to be content. If I feel I'm getting too dependent, I get concerned and freak out." Of course, the opinions teens hold now of relationships and marriage are liable to change. And many are aware of this. "I'm at a point when I'm trying to find out who I am," Alex says. "It's hard to give yourself to somebody when you don't know who you are."
While some, like Alex, remain hopeful, others are pessimistic about finding a life-long partner. "I see myself with a child but bringing it up by myself," says Jane Montague, 16, whose parents are also divorced. "That's not negative. I imagine a man in the background but don't see myself raising a kid in a dual partnership." Never mind divorce; she doesn't see herself married in the first place.
Zak, 16, (wishing to use his first name only), has a similar view. "I think I'll be a single dad unless I find someone who I can get along with every day," says Zak, whose parents divorced when he was an infant. "Anything's possible, but I don't think people can be constantly happy."
Sixteen-year-old Louisa Worrell isn't optimistic. "Like, at least half of my friends have single parents," she says. "My parents are one of the few parents still together. I want it (what they have) but I have no hope. There are so many marriages where it doesn't work out. It's not like a fairy tale." No unicorns, no dragons, no knights in shining armour.
Alex has similar sentiments. "I don't think there's somebody out there that's a soulmate," he says. "I think you find someone you like, earn their trust...and work toward a good relationship." Life is full of contradictions. Just because teens, like adults, are realistic about achieving perfection doesn't mean they don't strive for it.
"I'm not afraid of commitment," says Kamilla Break, 15. "I just can't believe you'd find someone you're so content with. I always find reasons not to be content. If I feel I'm getting too dependent, I get concerned and freak out." Of course, the opinions teens hold now of relationships and marriage are liable to change. And many are aware of this. "I'm at a point when I'm trying to find out who I am," Alex says. "It's hard to give yourself to somebody when you don't know who you are."
-- MARGO VARADI, The Toronto Star (2 April 2005)
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