love, marriage... and a baby carriage?
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Love is like a yard sale -- if you let your guard down and present everything you've got to the world honestly and without shame, someone is bound to end up with a bunch of your old clothes.
weddings are beautiful things... despite having to sit through a ritual that isn't very understandable -- much less relevant -- in this day and age, and having to listen to speeches filled with clichés and platitudes, and having to dance to bad music (or watching other people do so), there's something about the experience of sharing in a couple's special day that can melt even the most hardened cynic's heart... marriage ceremonies are universally practiced -- differences in details notwithstanding -- and they are a significant social and communal experience even in this era of shotgun weddings and quickie divorces...
having just come home from the wedding of a highschool friend, i'm inclined to contemplate on the experience rather than catch up on some much needed sleep... especially with recent events in my own personal relationship, such thoughts need airing out -- even if it's simply on this quasi-anonymous-yet-not-so-much medium that's proven to be the saving grace for my sanity... recently, i've adopted Yoda's advice as my personal mantra as i wrestle with the anxiety that's defined my experience with relationships... i've also given much thought to the words of wisdom espoused on one of my favourite shows, all in the hope that i can reconcile my insecurities with the reality that i need to square with and recognize as an overall positive state...
i guess what it comes down to is the risk that underlies marriage (and relationships in general): you can give and give and give -- and even when you think you've given it all, you still want to keep giving -- but you have to bear the risk of losing the very thing you're willing to lose everything else for... it's been said that you shouldn't marry someone you can live with, but rather that you should marry someone you can't live without... but how can we reconcile that with the ideals of personal strength and individual autonomy that we laud in contemporary society?
in the words of Baz Luhrmann, "don’t expect anyone else to support you -- maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out"... but as much as i don't need a crutch or want to be reliant, i still want to have someone to look forward to -- to go home to -- at the end of a hard day at work... i think about that scene in Titanic -- no, not the cheesy "I'll never let go, Jack"... but where Isidor and Ida Straus died in each other's arms... -- not to mention people like my grandparents and other couples whose lives have become so intertwined... and wonder if i'll ever experience something like that... and maybe just as (or more?) importantly, i want to experience the joy of holding my newborn baby in my arms... i think i cried the first time i heard Babyface sing, "you were such a lovely, precious sight... when I saw our baby in your eyes..."
am i contemplating nothing but a Disney-esque "happily ever after" fantasy? are my desires simply a product of inculcated social ideals? will i ever learn to trust enough to bear the risk, to allay my insecurities, to live and love in the moment? how and when is it that we find contentment in our choices and no longer presume our mistakes to be mistakes, but our destiny? is it possible to find "a love that's modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever"? i guess only time will tell, right?
--------------------
Love is like a yard sale -- if you let your guard down and present everything you've got to the world honestly and without shame, someone is bound to end up with a bunch of your old clothes.
weddings are beautiful things... despite having to sit through a ritual that isn't very understandable -- much less relevant -- in this day and age, and having to listen to speeches filled with clichés and platitudes, and having to dance to bad music (or watching other people do so), there's something about the experience of sharing in a couple's special day that can melt even the most hardened cynic's heart... marriage ceremonies are universally practiced -- differences in details notwithstanding -- and they are a significant social and communal experience even in this era of shotgun weddings and quickie divorces...
having just come home from the wedding of a highschool friend, i'm inclined to contemplate on the experience rather than catch up on some much needed sleep... especially with recent events in my own personal relationship, such thoughts need airing out -- even if it's simply on this quasi-anonymous-yet-not-so-much medium that's proven to be the saving grace for my sanity... recently, i've adopted Yoda's advice as my personal mantra as i wrestle with the anxiety that's defined my experience with relationships... i've also given much thought to the words of wisdom espoused on one of my favourite shows, all in the hope that i can reconcile my insecurities with the reality that i need to square with and recognize as an overall positive state...
i guess what it comes down to is the risk that underlies marriage (and relationships in general): you can give and give and give -- and even when you think you've given it all, you still want to keep giving -- but you have to bear the risk of losing the very thing you're willing to lose everything else for... it's been said that you shouldn't marry someone you can live with, but rather that you should marry someone you can't live without... but how can we reconcile that with the ideals of personal strength and individual autonomy that we laud in contemporary society?
in the words of Baz Luhrmann, "don’t expect anyone else to support you -- maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out"... but as much as i don't need a crutch or want to be reliant, i still want to have someone to look forward to -- to go home to -- at the end of a hard day at work... i think about that scene in Titanic -- no, not the cheesy "I'll never let go, Jack"... but where Isidor and Ida Straus died in each other's arms... -- not to mention people like my grandparents and other couples whose lives have become so intertwined... and wonder if i'll ever experience something like that... and maybe just as (or more?) importantly, i want to experience the joy of holding my newborn baby in my arms... i think i cried the first time i heard Babyface sing, "you were such a lovely, precious sight... when I saw our baby in your eyes..."
am i contemplating nothing but a Disney-esque "happily ever after" fantasy? are my desires simply a product of inculcated social ideals? will i ever learn to trust enough to bear the risk, to allay my insecurities, to live and love in the moment? how and when is it that we find contentment in our choices and no longer presume our mistakes to be mistakes, but our destiny? is it possible to find "a love that's modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever"? i guess only time will tell, right?
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posted by þΛųL jØŋαŦhΛŋ @ 02:45
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